This week was a strange one. I had an amazing day last Saturday (like… it was actually a perfect day) but then after that… it’s been all down hill. Not for any particular reason. On paper everything looks alright. I just didn’t feel like myself. I was doing everything right- but I still felt weird.
I was a little out of it. I didn’t sleep well. Familiar and once enjoyed routines felt really tired and blah. Friendships that normally feel so easy felt hard and foreign. People blew me off, let me down, and made me feel sort of unwanted and unimportant. There was something off about the communication between myself and the people I interacted with (especially at work)- like customers were saying things and I couldn’t dissect if they were compliments or criticisms or nice or mean I DON’T KNOW it was just weird. I wasn’t gelling with everyone like I always do so nicely. I felt really nostalgic for a bunch of different things (mainly college times- probably having to do with the fact that all the kids are moving back in for another year at American). I felt really homesick and missed my sisters (partially because two of them are going back to high school and they have teachers that used to be so close with). Time that usually flies by went by alarmingly slow. I felt lonely. I felt like I was hitting a road block in all of aspects of my life. I felt really sensitive. Workouts happened but they felt dumb. And don’t even get me started on the state of the world right now- blah so stressful and overwhelming.
It was a giant week of MEH.
Not even a glass of wine and plate of tiramisu from G (by Mike Isabella) could soothe my soul last night (although… it did help). Who am I?!
I tried to hide from the awkwardness and uncomfortableness of the week (convinced that it would pass at some point) for five minutes every couple of hours with the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game that I downloaded on my phone (yeahhh that happened). But no number of photo shoots and chats with Kim could change my mood in the real world (side note: I’m totally obsessed with this game- it’s the best. I know you’re all judging me- it’s fine).
B.J. Novak’s short stories helped me get away mentally a little bit. And made me laugh. The audiobook version is so good.
And that speech from the Little League World Series made me cry for reasons outside of my own head.
CLEARLY I wasn’t feeling up to facing #allthefeels that I was experiencing and filled my time with every and all distractions I could find. I just wanted the weird feelings to go away. I didn’t care to understand why I was feeling like such a hot mess.
I’m flying to Nashville tomorrow night for a weekend wedding (Will’s BFF from home)- and I’m just really excited to escape to a place where I barely know anyone and barely anyone knows me. I’m excited to be somewhere so unfamiliar and new that hopefully whatever funk I’m in- just falls away.
And if not- I’ll just have to learn how to shake it off. Taylor Swift style. Haters gon hate- I love that chick.
Keep it wicked healthy xoxo