Aspiration in Life

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Today is my Mom’s birthday (Happy Birthday, Mom!) and Sunday was my grandmother’s birthday (Happy Birthday, Mema!). Their birthdays plus a whole plethora of other things (the weather, long walks, and scrolling through beautiful blogs like this one, and this one, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, anddd this), have had me thinking about my life in this deep, romantic, meditative, reflective, and introspective way.

For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about my life- what I want out of it and who I want to be. The birthdays of the two most significant women in my life- two people who without a doubt have shaped who I am today more than anyone else- have brought these thoughts to their height and I think I’m finally ready to get those thoughts onto paper (or this here computer screen).

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the current weather is also very conducive to writing. the snow just looks so pretty falling out my window.

Outside of my blog, I write. I write in a notebook, I write in random google docs, heck- I even write in little drafts on my phone. I always feel like I have a lot to say about life and it feels good to put it into text instead of keeping it in my head. Maybe someday I’ll write a book- I’ve always wanted to. What I’m getting at though is, a lot of that writing is never seen here on this blog- mainly because its musings I have on my life as a whole and not really about health, wellness, fitness, food, etc.

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just another unrelated photo of the current snow fall situation.

I’ve thought about writing this post in this forum for days upon days but again, wondered if it “fit” with the nature of my blog. And then I realized- of course it does. This blog is supposed to be a story of my pursuits of finding a well-balanced way of living that incorporates all of the things I love in life. 

At the beginning of Beyonce’s song Pretty Hurts, she assumes the role of a pageant contestant and is asked by a judge, “what is your aspiration in life?” And she responds, “to be happy.” I usually agree with Beyonce’s thoughts on life, but this one in particular hits me at my core and I find myself saying yes every time I put on this song.

My aspiration in life? Simply, to be happy.

And I guess that’s what I’ve been thinking a lot about these days. What is it that makes me happy. What do I need in life to feel content and satisfied and fulfilled. How do I attain that most important aspiration of mine.

When I’m feeling bogged down, like I’m not doing enough, that I’m not getting what I need out of life, that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing in life- I ask myself- are you making time for the things that are important to you- the things that make you happy?

Because if so- then nothing else really matters. You make time for the things that make you happy and that are important to you and everything else, well, it clearly wasn’t that important so don’t worry about it.

What are these things that make me happy, you might be asking yourself? It’s a list full of contradictions really. Contradictions that I need an equal balance of:

Time with friends and family || Time alone and completely by myself

Being outside and breathing in the fresh air || Being in my home and attending my nestP1030788

Cooking and playing in the kitchen || Eating out and exploring flavors and foods that I wouldn’t ever experience on my ownP1030723

Running, lifting, stretching, walking, moving, and being generally active || Quiet rest

Working at a job that I love and where I find purpose || Having time off to replenish my stores creativity and to regain focus and clarity2014-02-24 17.03.42

Preparing for the future and slowly moving into the direction that I want my life to head toward || Living in the present and taking each day one at a time

Being mindful of what food I’m putting into my body || Not obsessing over what I’m feeding myself

Being mindful of my looks and my presence || Not obsessing over my appearance and appreciating every aspect of me that makes me a beautiful human

Taking care of others & loving on the people I love || Taking care of myself & loving on me

Time online to connect with like minded people and to be inspired by the lives of others that I wouldn’t know about without the internet || Time offline to connect with my community, my neighborhood, the people around me, and to have one-on-one connections with passionate strangers or acquaintances that might just change my life in some wayP1030789

Indulging in my materialistic side- buying new things that make me smile || Remembering that the best things in life are free and embracing the things that cost nothing

Responsibility, planning, and organization || Freedom, flexibility, and spontaneity

Those are some of the big topics that are floating around in my head. I’m trying to achieve this balance of all of those things. When they are all closest to being balanced- that’s when I’m the happiest. The kind of person that I want to be is one who strives to balance all of those things.

Little things- like, having the luxury of a slow morning, having thirty minutes to eat each of my meals, watching the Today show, making pretty food, surprises, fresh flowers, berries, strawberries, cherries, avocado toast, better understanding the food culture in countries around the world, the comedic stylings of jimmy fallon, comfy fleece, coffee, new makeup, sunshine and good weather, compliments at work, kisses from Will, not thinking about calories, phone calls from family, the perfect mix of music, long & hot showers, eating chocolate always, baseball season, keeping up with the kardashians, making homemade jams, studying Russian history, the promise of future travels, reading magazines, writing emails to friends, not weighing myself, painting my toes, long walks, cute corgis, snuggly cats, etc. etc.– all those things make up the big picture things and make me smile day in and day out.2014-02-20 07.47.33

I said in a post last Friday, I think I’m finally falling into myself as a person and I have a better idea of who I am and what I want to be and what I love and what I’m passionate about at this point in my life more so than I ever have before.

I might not always be in the best mood and life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies- not even close- like seriously- but I feel like I get what makes me happy. I know what I want out of life and what I need to balance to feel my best. I feel confident in the person I’m becoming and really sure of who I am.

Sometimes being reflective like this makes me crazy. I think and I think and I think and I want to have someone to talk to and someone to listen to me. So that’s why I’m sharing all this jargon with you all- because you’re someone who has listened to me so well for quite some time now {thank you}.

Being reflective like this makes me a better person at the end of the day. And it brings a sense of clearness to my life that I can’t find any other way. A clearness that inevitably will get muddled with the day to day struggles and stresses and accidents and weirdness- but a clearness that I know I can find my way back to because at my core- I think I know what makes my heart- my mind- my soul- happy.

And if being happy is my number one aspiration in life, then I have to say, I’m on the right track.

Does this post even make sense?

I’m in the never ending process of making my life what I want it to be and its beautiful and crazy and messy and awesome and overwhelming and confusing and wonderful.

That’s all.

Keep it wicked healthy xoxo

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