Yesterday was a good day. I needed one of those after a series of rough ones. I found myself reflecting on this and thinking, why is today so different than yesterday- why was I in this black hole of anxiety and stress feeling like I would never see the sunshine again and now I’m doing just fine?
When I’m having a bad day I tend to forget that good days exist or refuse to believe that things will be better. It can be so hard to think positively and remember all those times you were happy when you’re in an awful mood.
So I’m writing this post, and started working on it yesterday, to remind myself of the elements of my good day. There are certain things I can do to feel better or to feel happy. Again, sometimes I forget these things when I’m upset. I shall revisit this post to remind myself of the ways in which I can ensure a better day all around and feel better when I’m down. Some are more serious than others- but all are important.
I feel good when:
- I like what I’m wearing and what I’m wearing fits my body appropriately (I have a lot of clothes that I still wear that don’t fit me anymore because well, I have to- downside to losing weight and not having money to buy a whole new wardrobe- and I’ve noticed a difference in when I wear these old clothes as opposed to clothes that are actually my size and fit me right).
- I know what I’m doing at my job and all my various projects are organized.
- I don’t surf the internet or allow myself to get distracted for long periods of time at work (aka- I like to be productive).
- I’m eating enough.
- I do something randomly thoughtful for a friend or family member.
- My day includes some form of exercise.
- I take a quick walk around the neighborhood.
- I count my blessings.
- I feel as though I’m caught up with family members and friends.
- (subsequently) I talk on the phone with my Mom, sister, or a close friend.
- I just reach out to Will, family, or friends with my issues and fears instead of isolating myself on this lonely island I tend to put myself on- they’re my support system for a reason!
- My nails are painted.
- I tell myself out loud that I do a lot every single day to invest in my health and well being- and for those things- I should be proud.
- I truly reflect on how much change I’ve brought into my life in the past year- six months- week- day.
- I don’t overly obsess over healthy living blogs and the lives presented in them.
- I listen to the song Wounded by Third Eye Blind or Juicy by Notorious B.I.G.
- I’m cooking food that I genuinely want to eat and that I love.
- My upcoming week is planned out slightly or I have a general idea of what I want to do or accomplish in the short term.
- I don’t compare myself to other people (especially women) and determine that I’m not working hard enough or doing the right things.
- I’m wearing pretty underwear (tmi? maybe? whatever. I have an obsession- no shame).
- I close my computer and walk away from all my forms of technology.
- I have things to look forward to in my calendar (anything from getting coffee with a friend to a date night with Will).
- I’m able to push through feeling sad, be strong, and conquer whatever is plaguing me- whether its eating when I’m hungry even though I’m afraid to or giving myself credit for working out even if I feel like I gave it a mediocre level of effort.
- I don’t restrict myself with food or think of food as “good” or “bad.”
- I don’t over analyze calories or let myself count.
- I’m reading about something I’m passionate about (whether its the Red Sox or something history related- preferably Russian history related).
- I look in the mirror and tell myself that I am beautiful and that I am strong.
- I have healthy food on in hand in my fridge or feel like I’m doing everything in my power to give myself easy access to yummy/healthy food.
When I’m taking care of myself, loving myself, feeding myself, nourishing myself (mentally and physically)- I don’t feel afraid. I am able to trust myself and trust in my ability to achieve every goal I set. I am able to see the person I am. I am able to see the things I no longer want to be or that I’m unhappy with in my life and come up with ways to change them (see: my issues with food). I’m able to proactively reflect on the bad days, accept them, and feel the strength I have in me to keep truckin’ along with the assignments my R.D. and my counselor give me.
The leap of faith seen in the picture below is what freaks me out. I wish I trusted myself everyday to move forward new changes I’m bringing into my life to get me to the healthier and happier place I want to be. The reality right now though is that I don’t. Some days are good, some- not so much. Hopefully this post will remind me of how less scary and doable trusting and leap of faith shenanigans seem when I’m taking care of myself. I’m hesitant to jump, but I’m committed to making it happen. So it will happen.
Hopefully that all didn’t sound like the ramblings of a lunatic…
Before I go, I want to share with you a nifty dinner idea I tried out last night. In my blog perusing, I saw a recipe for a “Lazy Girl’s Calzone.” Being Italian and loving Italian cuisine- I was of course intrigued. Usually by dinner time I’m pretty tired so the whole lazy aspect was pretty appealing too.
Meghann, author of the original recipe, used a whole wheat pita and stuffed it with all the good stuff (cheese, sauce, vegetables, etc). Lacking pitas but having flatout wraps, I again decided to experiment with my wraps. I preheated my oven to 400 degrees and went to town on loading up one side of a flatout wrap.
Random quick and easy dinner creations sometimes turn out just great. Plus they’re pretty damn convenient.